One of the greatest failures of the Body of Believers is the divorce rate among those who claim to follow Yeshua. It is similar to the world and shows a great level of worldliness. I grew up in the 1950s and was in high school from 1961-1965. Divorce in the larger society was rare, and in the Church and Synagogue super rare. This did provide a great deal of security, though there were some negatives in dysfunctional families. Then the great rebellion came. The antiwar protestors said, “Make love, not war.” And make love they did! (Not love really but sex.) Eventually, this led to a culture of easy divorce. The culture no longer reinforced lasting marriage. The stigma of divorce was removed. Today divorce is common. There are many who plan to never marry. One survey said that 1/3 of younger unmarried people plan to never marry. That is the world. But what of the communities of faith. Sadly, their profession is better, but their stats are the same. How sad! It shows that the believing community was dependent on the larger culture and its reinforcement. There have been many studies on how greatly divorce affects children and that in a very negative way. One of my greatest points of sadness is to see divorce among the next generation after mine among the children of people we know. Some married professing their faith in Yeshua.
There is a corollary that I truly believe about marriage. If two parties to a marriage are passionately in love with Yeshua and growing more and more into his image then they will grow to love each other more and more. As we grow into his likeness God gives us the capacity to see our spouse with understanding, compassion, and appreciation. Quirks become endearing. Mistakes elicit emotions of love. Forgiveness reigns. In growing to be more like Him we love our spouses more and more. The other way to say this is that two people who are truly becoming more and more discipled will love each other more and more. Discipleship enables us to obey his commands, but that in a context to become more and more like Him. This means that we obey his commands to love our spouses and to not divorce for Yeshua commands us to stay married.
Divorce, therefore, is the manifestation of the following.
- Worldliness in the Body of the Messiah.
- The plague of pornography that destroys the joy of physical love in marriage and undercuts our passion for our spouses.
- The ungodly view of the right to fulfillment in this life, and that if the marriage is not fulfilling at the time, then I can get out.
- The loss of the fear of God. God will exact the consequences for those that divorce without biblical grounds.
- The lack of discipleship in the principles for a good marriage and how to walk this out.
However, all of these things are summarized in one great matter that I do make part of this list. It is that we are either growing more and more into the likeness of Yeshua or failing in that. In this love for Yeshua, our love for our spouses and our solid commitment is deeper and deeper. If one is kept back from this passion for Yeshua by sin, pornography, greed, and other self-centered orientations, then the person is called to repent and to fully seek his power to overcome Also seek help to be an overcomer.