Why is there longing for and enjoyment of beauty in me that moves my soul so deeply? Why do I crave it to the point where I cannot live without it? I think it is because of all the trauma I have been through and also because of the lifestyle my husband and I live. In trauma one faces situations he or she cannot control, fix or change. The outcome of trauma often opens heart’s door to a fog of fear that the world really is chaotic and that there are no internal walls thick enough to protect oneself from that chaos which threatens to wreck havoc. In other words, one comes face to face with his or her own powerlessness.
My husband and I travel extensively and our job in ministry is “putting things in order.” After all, isn’t this the function of government? As parents, as pastors or as governmental officials our job involves changing conflict into peace, error into truth, pain into comfort, or injustice into justice. And these change efforts are often resisted and much suffering is involved. Again I am faced with my own great weakness or inability to affect change.
Beauty represents those things which do not need to be fixed or changed. The perfection of beauty pierces my heart and brings healing to my anxious soul. Finally, my eyes behold that which is “good” just the way it is and I do not have to do a thing. It is safe, orderly and at peace with itself and I can breathe it in without fear. It does not make me feel powerless but strengthens me and renews my faith in life. Thank you, Lord, for the gift of beauty that dwells in unsuspecting places and in things seen and unseen. You have created us in hope that one day we will declare, “You have made all things beautiful!”