Leadership Failures
In recent years we have been bombarded with terrible leadership failures. Some were involved in adultery, even serial adultery. Some were found to have engaged in sexual harassment. Some are accused of grooming women much younger than them. Some have been found guilty of statutory rape. I can go on and on. How is this possible? Some led mega-churches and ministries.
We have struggled sometimes to know what to believe. Was it all the fault of the leader? However it happened, that leaders are many times more responsible for falling into sin. Was the leader the seducer (groomer is the word used today) or was the woman the seductress? Answering these questions will not solve the problem of why this happens. Prevention is the most important thing, though dealing justly and enforcing discipline is crucial. There must be just eldership courts to deal with all these matters and advocate women for the women who were abused so that they may have the strength to pursue justice and also find ministers who can provide healing ministry.
Narcissism in Leadership and the Solution
The book, The Other Half of Church, by Dr. Jim Wilder and Michael Hendricks, presents the thesis that many come into leadership due to great personal charisma but without solid character formation. Some of them are semi-narcheists with great talent who are able to build mega ministries and congregations. In such congregations and ministries, the leader becomes intimidating and cannot be questioned or challenged. He is untouchable. Two clear axioms are in order. Frist, leaders must be vetted for character and second, leaders must function in a team with a plurality of elders in mutual accountability. Eldership teams should form circles of accountability where confession of sin and prayer is paramount. The organization and movement, Life Model Works, is trying to foster this. Fostering character qualifications must deal with the quality of marriage and family and deal with any narcissistic tendencies due to upbringing and roots. It used to be said that psychiatrists should undergo a psychiatric analysis before they were allowed to practice. I wonder if all senior leaders should undergo a family systems psychological analysis and any trauma issues for healing before assuming leadership. The analysis should also vet attaining holiness in sexuality.
When I was still a young pastor, I was mentored by a senior apostle who tested potential leaders on the quality of their marriage. He especially wanted to know that the wife was really happy about being married to her husband. He could discern that.
The Ocean of Pornography Today
Today, we deal with a flood, an ocean, of easily available pornography. The worst hardcore pornograph is a click away. In the 1960s under the Keating-led commission, it was decided that viewing pornography was not dangerous. This was the early era of Playboy Magazine. One had to go to the counter of the local pharmacy to ask for a copy that was hidden behind the counter. It was wrong but mild compared to what came later. High school boys obtained the copies that their father hid under the bed, and they showed them around. The Keating group chose to see pornography as free speech, though there was no legal finding, and the Supreme Court held that material that was geared primarily to prurient interest could be banned. In Roth vs. The United States (19657) such material was declared not protected speech. But with Keating, the dye was the case nevertheless. During the administration of Ronald Reagan, the Meese Commission found pornography to be dangerous, habit-forming, and leading to destructive social behavior. They called for restrictions But the genie could not be put back in the bottle. Magazines and movies proliferated, and sections of newsstands had to be avoided. But today, the newsstands are largely free of pornography since video availability on computers has become the preferred vehicle for use. Today’s research shows pornography to be more dangerous than the Meese Commission conclusions. We now know that the use of pornography is like heroin and is addictive in the same way. It leads to two terrible results. For some, normal marital relationships and real intimacy become impossible. For others, they pursue in real life what was seen in the videos. The Western nations are pornographic societies. Advertising also sexualizes women and men, but women to a much greater degree and even young girls. I have wondered If the fall of some can be traced to pornography. We must work to see all leaders and members delivered from this plague. One should not be allowed to be a leader unless he is free of pornography.
The Example of Billy Graham
What can be done? In the late 1940s, The Billy Graham Evangelistic Association began. As they met in a hotel in Modesto, California, they shared their concerns about fallen evangelists in their day. They came up with a commitment to standards. One of them was to never be alone with a woman other than one’s spouse. The whole Billy Graham team embraced this, and it continued as they grew into a large organization. They have been scandal-free for 77 years! Billy Graham would not even enter an elevator with one woman in it. He noted that a person who wanted to hurt him could claim he had tried something in the elevator. Today, former Vice President Mike Pence is known for adopting this standard. He was criticized for this since feminists said women officials could not then meet him as an equal like the men. But Pence just held his ground and said another witness had to be in a meeting. These standards need to be passed on to our congregational members and to our youth to guard them against pre-marital sexual relationships.
When a Leader Falls
When a leader falls or is accused of sexual abuse, it is crucial that this be brought before the elders, who are the courts of a congregation. If it is a head leader, then an appeal eldership needs to be constituted because this is usually too much for a local eldership to deal fairly with their own leader. Women advocates need to be provided in every congregation to enable the accuser to have the courage to pursue the case. We must enforce standards. For a consensual fall or adultery, a serous period of counseling and help can lead to restoration (2 years). For serious abuse of younger women or minors (which requires reporting to civil authorities), the ban from leadership should be a lifetime, though restoration to fellowship is indeed possible. In a fair court of elders with advocates, the falsely accused can present his evidence as well. A small minority of false accusations of abuse do occur, but the great majority of accusations from women are true. I personally, however, have seen false accusations due to revenge for other reasons. For example, the cases where a woman was denied a promotion or her romantic pursuit was spurned. (Joseph in the Bible). I have also seen accusations from schizophrenics for things that never happened. Their imagination is a reality for them. For the sake of that small minority, the biblical standards of evidence must be followed.
The Tragedy of Today’s Church
The fact that most churches do not have good and safe processes to deal with sexual sin has led to social media prosecution and social media defense. Sometimes a reputation is wrongly destroyed by the accusers and also by the defenders. On the other hand, if there is no good and safe process, the true victims and their supporters often have no recourse but to go public to pressure all involved to seek a fair and just way forward. This empowers the victim. The fact that social media has become necessary is a stain on the Church and its lack of a way for true justice. However, if that pressure leads to a fair way forward with the courts of the Church, then social media should no longer be pursued.