When I attended the Presbyterian Seminary from 1972–1974, we were taught that we were professionals and should not develop personal friendships with the elders or the people. We were to maintain a professional distance for counseling, preaching, and leading board meetings. Friendships were to be cultivated with other pastors and people outside the congregation. I call this an organizational professional model.
When I was in graduate school from 1969–71, I developed a vision that was the opposite of this. I saw in the model of Yeshua a friendship relationship model. He lived with the disciples for over three years. They developed a deep friendship with Him and with each other. In John 15:15, Yeshua calls His disciples friends and says that as a friend He tells them what He is doing — what He is planning.
The Acts 2:42 Model
In Acts 2:42 and following, we read that the new community was continually together, met from house to house, shared meals, and gave themselves to prayer and the apostles’ teaching. In that era, my student friends were reacting against what we called the plastic, the artificial, the inauthentic in relationship. We saw an alienated population driven by economic motives. We wanted to see a lasting biblical community that brought humane living for God’s people. We called this developing a community characterized by covenant love relationships that would last a lifetime. In such a community, love would be tested, people discipled, and lives grown into the likeness of Yeshua. Open, transparent relationship would be the key. New people would be won to Yeshua and added to the community.
This is certainly the model we see with Paul. Note how he expresses his father’s heart to the Corinthians (1 Cor. 4:15). Note also how Paul wept when parting from the elders of Ephesus in Acts 20. This is not a distant professional model.
Implementing the Acts 2:42 Model
My first opportunity to implement this vision came when I was called to the First Hebrew Christian Church in Chicago in 1972. I didn’t yet have a method for raising leaders — I only knew to call those who were willing to live nearby and form a proximity community, within walking distance of one another. Forty-five people heeded that call. I developed discipleship lessons, and from those who were responding to the vision — now a Messianic Jewish vision — elders were nominated from among those who seemed mature enough. Two of the key couples were young and as yet had no children; our first child was born in 1975. But the idea of long-term community and raising our children together inspired us all.
Then, to our surprise, we were called to move from Chicago to lead Beth Messiah Congregation in the Maryland suburbs of D.C. The question now was how to build community and develop elders in this new context. My heart’s prayer was that God would give us a group of elders who would walk together in a covenant love relationship for a lifetime.
A Growing Understanding of Developing Leaders
In the early years at my new congregation, I discovered a network of congregations that emphasized raising leaders. If we are to grow in a community-oriented way, we are limited by the number of elders and home group leaders we can raise. Here is what I learned.
Preach radical commitment and dedication to the Lord, and submission to His will in leading us in service within the congregation.
Find those who are willing to be raised. Look for four characteristics: A. Worshippers of God. B. Teachable. C. Marriage and family in order. D. Intellectual capacity to lead and articulate.
If no one yet fit the criteria, then it was my job to find those closest to qualifying. The key was to spend time with them, invest in them, and build relationship while discipling them toward that mark. This sounds exactly like what Yeshua did — and it worked. Not only did we raise elders and shamashim (deacons), but we built covenant love relationships that have lasted in many cases to this day, forty-five years later. Home groups became the basis for intimacy, love, and transparency among members.
This covenant love connection extended into a network of congregations, the planting of new congregations, and even ministry stretching across the ocean to Israel — where I now serve alongside my right-hand and left-hand leaders from that early season, together with people who were in my congregation then and are now part of our congregations there.