In only a few days terrible news about our cultural drift cames into my purview. I read an article by Daniel Henniger, a great article in the opinion section of the Wall Street Journal on August 8, entitled The Deep Dangers of Life Online. Then a study reported on in the N. Y. Post stated that 22-25 % of Millennials say they have no friends and some even no acquaintances (positive lesser relationships). Then a sports writer complained that kids do not play sports “like we used to” and most kids give up sports at 11 years of age. Then the co-founder of Facebook wrote about its dangers and he does not allow his kids to be on it. It is habit-forming, numbing and dangerous! Other hi-tech leaders from Silicon Valley decry the effects of the internet and tell families to keep their kids away from it or at least to strictly limit it. All of this in just two days!
Henniger points to studies showing that the amount of internet time is strongly correlated to anxiety, depression, and suicide. He writes, ”I don’t think the human brain was designed to endure the volume of relentless inner-directedness that is driven by these new screens. It is not natural or normal. Anyone who spends that much time immersed inside their own psyche is headed for trouble.” He goes on to show how the internet foments anger and rage in lonely individuals.
I well recall the joy of growing up playing sports. Yes, I was fat and it was difficult, but it was a family value, so I plodded along. Hours were spent on the field, stick ball, baseball, basketball and football from grade school to college. We learned teamwork, unselfishness, effort, perseverance, discipline, and yes, friendship.
In Seminary, I read two books that I often bring up. Alvin Toffler’s Future Shock and Vance Havners, A Nation of Nomads. Both decried the fact that we were creating a nation of fleeting and shallow relationships. Toffler noted that economics was driving moving and changing at such a rapid pace that marriages and friendships would be difficult and that many would just stop trying. Marriages would not last. Havner called for putting the breaks on. Then I read Bruno Bettelheim, The Informed Heart which recounts what he learned in the Holocaust. A parallel book was Victor Frankl, also written from the Holocaust where he argued that human life had to find personal meaning to be sustained. The meaning of life is in relationships. This indeed was a biblical emphasis. What would they think of our fleeting relationships today in the texting and internet culture? The most important thing is intimate relationships among persons, beginning with our relationship with God. Texting and Facebook cannot replace personal “being there.” Then I think of the feminist movement. So much of the argument is that women are not being paid equally (they really are for the same job and experience). But studies show that they are not being paid equal as a total sum of income because they take time off for their children and other enriching activities. Would that feminism did not seek to find primary meeting in climbing the economic ladder to equality with men so they can live as empty a life as the men! Rather would that the protest had been for work for both men and women that enabled time for personal growth in relationships. Loving and stable marriages and families is on the best level of what life has to offer. Building lasting communal intimacy in congregational life is difficult but when attained is a high value.
The dystopia of modern life is primarily due to the breakdown of intimacy in lasting relationships, marriage, friendships, congregational community, and volunteer organizations of committed people working together! The recent spate of mass murders, way before President Trump (he is not to blame for this despite the claims on the left) may be a symptom of the breakdown of relationships in our culture. Anger and loneliness together are a dangerous mixture.
What is to be done? We need to unplug and find our primary life offline! Then we need to commit to build lasting relationships. It is to build a counter-culture, to stay in one place for a long time, to build a congregational community, to build a good family and more. We have to build a counter culture that is aware of the issues and lives contrary to the trends of our day. It is not easy, but we did it in our building congregations from the days my leadership in congregations. We seek to do it in Israel as well. We need to raise consciousness of what is happening.