THE COST OF LOVE, THE PRICE OF FREEDOM
A small boy pressed his nose against a frost-covered windowpane, trying to get a closer look. He had smelled the odors of fresh pastries and roasting turkey wafting from the house and it stirred memories of days long ago. Fragrances of love and family that’s what they were. How he longed to be a part of this scene he viewed from afar. There they were, a father and a mother sitting on a bench before their upright piano. A gleeful young lad sat on the man’s lap while the mother played and sang Christmas carols. And there stood a proper young girl dressed in fine pink silk and lace. She had her arm about her mom’s shoulder and was trying to blend her delicate voice with the tones of her parents. In the distance he saw a table set with the best china, goblets and colorful red napkins. He just knew that this was what he wanted for Christmas…a family.
Reluctantly, the boy pushed himself away from the window. It had begun to snow and the wind started to pick up. The night was bleak and wintry blasts of cold slipped down his neck. With determination, he pulled the collar of his thin coat up over his ears. Quickly, he shoved his bare hands back into his pockets. The cold felt like painful knives coming through the holes in his coat but all he could do was scrunch his shoulders up into his head and bow low into the gusts as he walked. He trudged steadily towards town in hopes of finding a store open where he could receive warmth.
About three blocks down the road the lad found himself on Main Street and sure enough, a department store was all lit up. He took a moment to look at the Christmas displays in the windows before going through the revolving doors. There was Santa standing by his sleigh with his faithful reindeer peering back at him as if to question, “Now?” Numerous elves appeared to be scurrying about, getting ready for the big night. Multi-colored presents lay everywhere as if waiting expectantly for little arms to gather them up. Fake snow covered everything. Even this moved the boy into deeper sadness. Glancing toward the door, he decided to risk being caught and sneaked into the store. Luckily, no one was watching. He went straight for the toy department. How good the heat felt and he began to relax his shoulders and to stomp his feet to get the blood flowing again. Crowds of parents with young children in tow shoved their way forward to get a chance to see Santa. Just maybe he would be blessed and be able to sit on Santa’s lap like the other children. Maybe Santa won’t notice that he was alone.
The line moved slowly, but he didn’t care. At least he was out of the cold. He did not notice that almost an hour had passed before it was his turn. With head bowed low, the boy slowly crept up on Santa’s big lap. It felt so good to have his big arms embrace him. Then he spoke those magical words that he longed to hear. “What do you want for Christmas, son?” Yes, those words touched his deep loneliness. Quietly he whispered into Santa’s ears, as he did not want anyone to find out that he was an orphan. “I want a family to love me…that is I want more than anything in this whole world. Can you find someone to love me?” The jovial smile slipped from Santa’s face as he looked at the ragged boy on his lap. His sandy hair was unkempt and his face was smudged with aged dirt. Santa could still feel the cold coming from deep within the lad. What could he say? His heart overflowed with compassion and knew that he did not have the power to grant his request. Santa drew the boy even closer into his chest and turned the boy’s face towards his own so he could look deeply into his eyes. “My son, love is a gift. It cannot be bought. You or I cannot make someone love you. Love is only love if it is given freely. But, it is a gift you already have in your heart. You do not have to wait to find someone to love you, but you can give this gift right now. It is a choice you can make…you can choose to love the way you want to be loved. When you love, then you are no longer alone. The coldness will go away. You will know when you have found love when you hurt. When you love someone so much and they do not love you back, when you love and nothing comes back to you, then you must make a choice. Yes, it hurts, but do you keep on loving or do you hold unto your gift because it hurts too much to release. If you do not love, then you will return to being cold. Love is a gift but it will cost you everything. It is not something you can turn on and off. You must keep on giving love and never turn back. Once you plant the seeds do not dig them up to see if they are growing. Then one day you will find that the seeds of love you have sown will sprout, and you will find a family of love.”
The lad wiped a small tear from his face and wrapped his arms around Santa’s neck. It seemed like he would never let him go. Somehow, he did not feel quite so cold anymore or quite so alone. Carefully he slipped off Santa’s lap as he joyfully thanked him. He left that store with a new flicker of hope. Yes, loving others would be worth the pain. He couldn’t wait to get back to the orphanage to try out this newfound secret. The boy had some gifts to give, some seeds of love to plant.